Finding love

It's been a while. Gosh managing and keeping up my blog has been a little harder than I imagined, but I have vowed to myself to nurture my first love which is writing, so I am back to the drawing board, which means screenplays, poetry etc and I figured it is the perfect time to get the blog going again.

So much has happened since I last wrote and in my search for truth I stumbled upon love, which waved at me from a distance. It blew air kisses, which made me stumble, but I could not stop and glance over nor air kiss back. I was too busy trying to figure out, who had sent him.

I should have just looked into the skies of life to retrieve my answer, but no I was so self absorbed in days to come and peripheral things, I could not see the gleaming sun rays that surrounded me. Love comes when you least expect it but fortunately when you are at your most receiving.

Well me and my conscious 'cool' self, waved back but could not approach and as opposed to leaving me alone to do my thing, love came strolling over casually and I fell...hard.

It was the best thing ever, even if on some days I get scared it's too right and try to sneak back into my 'cool cocoon' of assuredness and try to restore my self control. Losing balance to fall in love is necessary because your other part will level you, hence the term partnership. You are in it together.

There were days I could not eat and sleep and my stomach was in knots with butterflies fluttering around and exploding like fireworks on New Year's Day. I was so sick in love I could not stand it. I asked God to please take it away and as I got know this man, the sick feeling made place for understanding, appreciation and tolerance. Gratefully, had I stayed ill for one more day I might have slit my wrists, it's the worst kind of feeling and it reminded me way too much of High School. Thank God it is OVER.

The greatest thing about it though was that this love filled me in my entirety, spirit, mind and body. It made me realize so many other things, things I had once loved, but had discarded and this gave me the opportunity to re-discover them. I am happier and more fulfilled since I met him, I am stronger and more knowing. Yes, pure, sincere and honest love does exist. It is not about finding the right person it's about being the right person.

Do you know that feeling of when you know, you know, you know?

I am in that state and it's refreshing. I do have doubts that plague me every once in a while, which mainly surface from my own insecurities, but as I grow in this relationship we work to discard them and build on the foundation God has laid and grow the trust in one another.

I just know the same hand that wrote on the wall in the book of Daniel, also wrote this very union that I have with this man.

I stand strong and trust, because I know that nothing can be cursed that God has blessed. The hardest part about this all is learning to become entirely selfless and accepting all the aspects that come with love. Whether good or bad or painful or joyful, it's all in that one container of which I have already lifted the lid.

I could not have accepted this love so easily if it weren't for the greatest love in the entire world however. God's love. He just shaped me and prepared me and showed me how much he loves me. Had I never experienced his love prior to that I would not be able to give love back.

Of course I am still dealing with many things, but it is good to know that He showed me His love and is teaching me how to give it back. Thank you Jesus.

He blesses me so I can be a blessing unto someone else and this man will be blessed cos I got all my love to pour out to him.

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

So now I am walking on the yellow bricked road paved with love as I seek to restore my destiny. I know I am seeking truth, God's truth, equipped with love and my partner. I am excited about the journey ahead and the adventures it will bring.

If I could I would be the sun for one day so I can radiate all this love in me, it might be one of the hottest days.

God bless until next time